10 Commandments of Separation.
Posted on 07. Aug, 2012 by Iqcguest in Family, Lifestyle, Psychology
Going through a divorce is hard, especially if you’re living somewhere in the hustle and bustle of a city. Studies show that couples who lived in major cities like London have a higher divorce rate due to stress involving work, commuting and money issues. Feeling lost in your divorce plans whilst trying to juggle around work, sorting out finances and not to mention if you have children can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You must seek friendly, intelligent and sensitive legal advice. Finding a a good family solicitors in London that are straightforward but caring and sympathetic toward your situation might seem like a minefield but the sooner you do, the sooner your family will be on the road to recovery. Sometimes when divorce settlements are going on, and children are involved, it can end up psychologically affecting the child/children more than you think. A high percentage of kids whose parents had been through a messy divorce end up developing self esteem issues, behavioural problems and having bad relationships for themselves and with parents. To combat this, here a few things to remember when going through a divorce where children are involved:
1. Treat each other with respect at all times, don’t give the impression that your ex partner is worse than you.
2. Do not fight in front of the child/children, haven’t you done enough fighting already?
3. Do not use the child/children as a weapon, fight your own battles, and leave the children out of it.
4. Do not bribe the child/children with gifts, affection and loving reassurance is worth so much more than any toy.
5. Keep siblings together, there is always strength in numbers and your family has already been divided so further this.
6. Carry on with discipline, don’t become laissez-faire in your attitude towards your child’s/children’s bad behaviour.
7. Make their life/lives as easy as possible, they’ve already been through so much.
8. Don’t guilt the child/children for being with the other parent, it was your decision to split and you aren’t their only parent.
9. Ensure they always have somewhere that’s their own space for when they stay/visit, comfort is what they need.
10. Talk to them, find out how they’re feeling, even if they are really young, they still understand that their parents aren’t together anymore so make sure you ask them regularly to express any doubts or worries they might have and reassure them that you love them and that everything is going to be alright.